A Sign From God

cleaning-showersI’ll be totally honest. I wish this was me. I wish my shower was clean and I wish I looked this happy that it was. Unfortunately, yesterday, I looked more like this…

shower-slipI slipped in the shower yesterday. No, that’s not code for “my husband beats me.” Any of you who’ve met my husband know that if he beat me I’d be dead. Huge guns!

No, it’s not that interesting. I was cleaning the shower yesterday and slipped and fell. I wish someone had got it on video. I’m sure it was hysterical. My foot slipped, I over corrected backward and as I fell, I slammed my right arm onto a 5 gallon bucket and then slammed my left knee into the tile wall. I crawled out on my hands and one knee so that I could lay on the carpet and not in the shower which was full of a horrible combination of chemicals. (Yes, we have carpet in our bathroom. We bought the house that way. So 12 years later it’s TOTALLY nasty. I know. If it grosses you out, send me money so I can put tile in and make it like a normal bathroom.)

So there I am, laying on the carpet, ( I know it’s disgusting…..seriously send money) and all I can think is, “Shit, I have to finish cleaning the shower or those chemicals will harden and I’m screwed.”

At that moment I realized that this was an act of God. God was telling me something life-changing. I could hear it in the throbs of pain, ebbing up from my knee, my arm and my back. He said………..”You need a maid.” AMEN!

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9 thoughts on “A Sign From God

  1. I know I’m a terrible daughter for saying this, but that was so hilarious. Just to let you all know, I had just slammed my knee into a door when this happened. So when I heard it and eventually went upstairs (I thought she knocked over the vacuum), I realized my knee was SO not as bad as hers. She always has some way of letting me know my life is not as bad as someone else’s. I love you too, mom.

    • My left knee cap looks like a rotten banana, and I have a bucket shaped bruise on my left arm. My back is what really hurts. That’s what I get for trying to do speed gymnastics at my age.

    • These bruises pale in comparison to Mom’s yearly “I fell off the horse,” “the horse stepped on me,” or “I fell off the horse, onto a fence,” bruises. So it’s hard to whine too much. At least I’m not bleeding internally and saying, “my skin is so hot that I can’t touch it.” Only Mom can pull that stuff off and live to tell about it. Definitely the master.

    • I firmly believe that there is hardly any experience in life that can’t be eased by humor. It’s truly the only reason my family is alive and still speaking to eachother.

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