Bed to Bench Makeover – Day 2

bench paintingOkay, so here’s where I ended up today. Everything has been painted a color. Please don’t worry about hurting my feelings when you feel yourself muttering, “That’s butt-ugly!” I know it is. This is what those of us in the business of decorative painting call “The Ugly Phase.” It’s like a nightmare, Small World, color palette. I see it too……I’m not blind.

I used to hate this phase when I did this for money. I’d be in someone’s home, painting like crazy and they’d walk in, and there’d be this looooooong pause. Before they could come up with a politically correct comment I always jumped in with a very defensive, “This is the Ugly Phase, just walk away!” Then I’d spend the next 30 minutes comforting them and promising them that it would look better tomorrow.

If you need comfort, just know that I’m done giving any. That’s why I closed my business last year. I’m done comforting people who are afraid of paint and color. There are real things to be afraid of, like being kidnapped and held hostage in a house in Ohio for 10 years, apparently. Paint is a stupid thing to be afraid of. So stop it!

garden benchI haven’t decided yet if I’m going to add some decorative painting panels to the sides and back. I’ll think about it tomorrow. I won’t be painting tomorrow. I’m having lunch with my two friends who are still painting for people (and their money). They’re much stronger than me, or at the very least, they don’t take it personally when they’re clients panic and beg them to paint everything back to white. I still have to get drunk just to listen to their stories.

They’re warriors, but I still don’t envy them. I’m thoroughly enjoying painting something ugly and not having to defend it. I’m an artist and I don’t stop till it’s beautiful! Promise.

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