Intermission: brought to you by The Universe

I apologize for no photos accompanying this post, but I didn’t want any physical reminders of this day, that is, except for this post.

You ever have one of those days when the world tries to stop you from doing something productive over and over again, but you just keep trying to push forward? That’s the kind of day I had today. But before that…..let me fill you in on yesterday.

Yesterday my daughter and I removed the remaining wallpaper in her bathroom. Huge mess, but at least it was off. We spent the rest of the day scrubbing the walls to get all the leftover glue off the walls. Totally sucked. Dianna had no idea what she had gotten herself into, she scrubbed her fingers raw, but let’s just say she’ll probably never apply wallpaper anywhere unless she knows she will love it forever, like a tattoo. It’s so painful to remove it. Honestly…..I’d rather have a tattoo removed off my inner thigh than pull off wallpaper. Wallpaper sucks.

So back to today.

This is how it was supposed to go: paint one coat, take a shower, eat lunch, walk the dog, paint the second coat. Totally achievable.

This is how it actually went: I spent all morning pulling off baseboards, patching holes, and sanding rough spots but I wanted to start painting so badly that I started even though I was famished. So I’m shaky, but painting, on this stupid two-step ladder. (I’m working on a two-step ladder because I can’t find my three-step ladder. I say, “I can’t find,” but what I really think is “someone stole my three-step ladder.” My husband can’t fathom why someone would steal a ladder out of our garage. He swears I’ve misplaced it. How can you misplace a ladder in your home and not be able to find it? It’s not a set of keys, it’s a freakin’ ladder!) This is all beside the point…….the point is, the two-step ladder is one step short and my neck is killing me. Like I can’t open my mouth because me neck is so tight.

We started painting, only to see that glue on drywall is invisible, that is, until you apply paint………then you can really see it. Apparently, even though we scrubbed those walls for four hours, there’s still glue on them. So we tried to wipe it off as we painted. Totally sucked. If that wasn’t enough, we were running out of paint. Since I bought the primer/paint before I knew that I’d be dealing with drywall mud and not a primed surface, I hadn’t bought enough to account for the product soaking in to the mud. Slow going to say the least. I still hadn’t even taken a shower……….nasty!

…..We broke for McDonald’s.

When I checked the paint after lunch it had miraculously become beautiful…….finally a good sign. So I ran to the store to get more since it had all become one with the joint compound. I get to the counter and a sign on the counter says, “We are sorry to inconvenience you, but both our paint machines are broken.” Are you fu*#king kidding me?

So…..I quit. It’s the Universe’s fault.

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